We all have these kinds of emotionally impactful experiences, and because we are young and unable to cognitively make sense of what is happening (as we can when we are older), we make these events mean something negative about ourselves.
Most of us are in pursuit of something outside of ourselves, something we don't have already, and that we believe would improve the quality of our lives. What this thing is varies from person to person, it can be anything from more money, a better body, a relationship (or a better one), to more self-awareness.
When we are habitually unable to decide, it is just a smoke screen for irresponsibility. This is to be stuck in crisis.